Oh...Really...Yeah...

Went out for my boy Jon's birthday out at the Burgundy Room in LA last night, and in the midst of playing wingman for one of my girl friends, we start talking about what our "types" are. Girls seem to know what they want and what they are looking for, but their main problem is that they are a little dilusional on what they think they are getting and what they want. Huh? Let me explain that one. As soon as my friend told me what she likes, her friend comes busting in laughing and saying what she REALLY goes for. Hilarious. Naturally the shift in focus turns towards me.

"What do you like?"

"Umm....hot, nice body, pretty face!" <>

"For real, what do you like?"

"Someone who can change my view on things, and someone who's vocabulary while I am talking to her is 'oh,' 'really,' and 'yeah.'" <>

While those three words could easily describe your prototypical airhead, its not necesarily what I was trying to get at. There are some girls out there that are B-O-R-I-N-G as f*ck. Usually these chicks either give the impression that, A. they are stupid as hell, or B. they are stuck up as hell.

I think its hilarious when decent looking girls have such a hard time finding a guy. Yes, my shallow ass had to throw "decent looking" in there cause as much as everyone hates to admit it. There HAS to be physical attraction first. Anyway, girls have it easy. If you want a guy, regardless if its a hook up or some match.com long term sh*t, all you have to do is open your mouth and sound interesting. Crack a joke, talk about yourself, make fun of me, do something. Don't just utter the three most ridiculous conversation breakers known to man, "oh," "yeah," and "really." Cause really, you are just prepping yourself to be the cock block for your other friends that are having fun that night. "I'm not having fun." Yes, you are not having fun because you are not fun. haha Simple as that.

While I am on the clubbing topic of cock blocking. I don't know how many of you have caught that show Jersey Shore on MTV. Anyway, there is this annoying, chubby Christina Aguilera look-a-like on there named Snookie. Being the butt of the jokes on the show, she has now made her way into the JPonics book of vocabulary. You know the one ugly chick in the crew, usually a little more overweight than the rest of her friends, plays the role of security guard in the impenetratable circle of dancing girlfriends, and worst of all, cock block to the other friends because she has so much attitude that its virtually impossible for your friend to play wingman. Well, for the time being, those girls are now called SNOOKIES. How to use in a sentence, "I met this really cool girl over there, but the damn snookie kept saying she had to go to the bathroom." haha Word #2, SNOOKED, formerly known as a bitchalism from the stand-up of Jamie Foxx. If you got snooked, you just got cheap shotted, by some random ass person in the club.

More coming from me later. I have lots I want to blog about, including an alternative, much nicer version of the topics blogged about here.