R-E-S-P-E-C-T..

A word that is often misused and abused. Everyone talks about wanting respect, but very few people in this world actually know how to SHOW it. I think a good amount of the blame lies in the fact that our society pretty much trains us all to be selfish and greedy. "Look out for yourself first!" I don't know how many times I have heard that. Interpreted correctly, it should be taken as protect yourself and your best interests. However, it is often misinterpreted as, "how can I make this situation work in my favor."

I am not calling anyone out in this post or trying to stir anything up. I just see/hear this word being used and abused way too much these days. If you want respect, learn to give it and give it correctly. Please.

25...

In light of being tagged in someone's 25 random notes on Facebook, I decided to re-post my random 25 that I wrote just about a year ago. February 13, 2009 to be exact (happy birthday elisa aka http://eliarctellall.blogspot.com).

1. My favorite colors are grey and and navy blue. So if you are ever trying to decide on a color for me, can't go wrong with those 2. ;)

2. My brother, Chris, was the one who got me into bodybuilding. I worked out and was pretty active for a fat kid throughout grade school, and high school, but as far as protein powders, and getting huge...you can blame my brother for creating this monster. I guess you could say, I took something and ran with it (kinda overboard now...haha).

3. My biggest pet peeve is when people flake, cancel, or screw up my plans. Do not make plans with me if you have even the slightest possibility of flaking, it will be very hard to earn my trust again.

4. Love is a very strong word for me. You will rarely ever hear it come from my mouth. If you have heard that word come from me, directed to you, consider yourself someone that I am extremely glad to have in my life. Right now, I could probably count on my fingers the number of people I would actually say I love you to.

5. Speaking of love. When I was in high school, one of my friends collapsed and died of cardiac arrest suddenly while at school. My parents were pretty good friends with her parents, and the girl's mom told my mom that she called her mom every morning before school, but the difference with the day of her death was that she told her mom, "I Love You," before she hung up. Ever since I overheard this, I have been extremely scared to tell my parents I love them, because of the simple fact that something bad might happen that day. But I do love my parents and admire them both.

6. When I was younger, my brother got a new bike for his birthday and we used to always race down our hill to our driveway. Well, one race, we switched bikes and as I was turning onto your driveway, the bike slid from under me and I landed on my face, busting my lip and bloodying my nose. I blame that for my huge lips, and am forever traumatized of riding bikes full speed downhill.

7. I am the eldest of 3 kids, and will forever have "big brother" syndrome, where I will give my advice for almost everything. Tricia calls this me being a "parent," but I just can't help it sometimes.

8. The easiest way to land yourself on my sh*tlist would be to call me gay, fat, or stupid. I cannot stand those adjectives, and once you say them, you will immediately see my demeanor change; unless we are joking around with each other. That's a whole other story.

9. My favorite athletes (currently playing) are Tiger Woods, Terrel Owens, and Kobe Bryant. Jet once made the comment that I like all the best players, but why would I like athletes who suck at their sports. haha

10. I have over 100 pairs of sneakers spread between my house up north and my apt down here in so cal. Sneakers are truly my weakness, but they are also probably one of my biggest regrets, as far as purchases. I have spent enough on shoes to put a down payment on a house.

11. I can grab the basketball rim on a 10 foot court and have actually attempted to dunk before (unsucessfully!...haha). The first time I grabbed the rim, I was about 5'6 and about 185lbs or fat my sophomore year in high school.

12. I hate talking about sex. It makes me super uncomfortable. I will never be one to initiate the subject and will try to change the subject if it comes up. I don't understand the notion of "kissing and telling." It's pretty pointless to me. It makes me think you are insecure and trying to show off.

13. One time in college, I was called a "himbo," the male version of a bimbo, and it's kind of true. Most of the time people are making dirty jokes, I do not get them for at least a few minutes. I also am called out for making stupid comments that appear to be dirty when I am not trying to.

14. I did not read a single book for my AP English class in high school, and still managed to get one of the top grades in the class. I relied on cliff's notes, spark notes, the internet, and the Shakespeare made easy line. Needless to say, the people above me knew this and could not stand me. Especially since I would let people copy my reports all the time.

15. In high school, my nickname was buddha, cause I was asian, fat and had a shaved head. haha

16. I have a ridiculously bad temper and earned the nickname the hulk during the TKE years in college. On one particular outburst during an intramural football game, I ripped off my shirt and had to be restrained by one of the biggest guys in our chapter, Mr. Chuck Bennett. The referee told him to get me out of there and out of the playing area completely or she would call the police. Most people don't know that after Chuck carried me out into the parking lot, I started crying like crazy. Not because I was in trouble, but because I felt like I let my team down. Yep, I have an ego and felt like I was needed to help us win.

17. I am extremely competitive in EVERYTHING. I will try to win all the time. There is no such thing as a scrimmage or practice in my life. I will try to win at everything. Eating, sports, EVERYTHING. I am also a somewhat sore loser, though I won't show it.

18. My on the field persona is completely different from my every day personality. I am cocky, arrogant, and believe I can f*ck up whoever is in front of me. I will talk shit, I will play dirty, and show it off in your face. I've scored touch downs with my tongue sticking out at the nearest defender, signed a football (told ya TO was my fave), and have fouled people so hard on fast breaks that they wanted to kill me. I also told some mexican guy who was playing ball against me that I would blow up his taco truck. Yes, asshole. Yes, brutal. No mercy on the field.

19. I am the most racist person that I know. I have friends of all nationalities and we all get along great, but once the racist jokes start, take a guess on who will be in the middle of it all. ME!

20. Growing up, my brother and I probably had the absolute worst diets you could imagine. Rows of oreos for breakfast. Heaping scoops of nestle quik (strawberry or chocolate) in our milk. I'm talking 2-3x what they tell you in the directions. Lunch was typically some frozen food combination, consisting of chicken nuggets, pizza, fries, hot wings, hot pockets, french bread pizzas, and anything you could find in the costco freezer section. No lie. We should both be 2 extremely obese indivuduals. Thank you mom and dad for our great genetics. I was a fat kid, but not disgustingly obese. My brother's girlfriend likes to say that those old school meals are the reason we are both health nuts today.

21. I have more of a sweet tooth than I admit to people. My favorites are oatmeal rasin and chocolate chip cookies, really rich, fudgy brownies, and ice cream. I cannot really get enough of it, but convince myself to stop because it is not good for me.

22. I refuse to get back to my old, fat self. I will go to extremes to avoid that. Luckily, I know how to completely avoid being a fat slob altogether now.

23. I think the sexiest thing a girl could wear is a wife beater. No, not a fat chick trying to squeeze into one, but I think it's really hot when a girl has toned arms and a flat stomach rocking a wife beater and jeans. Oh yeah, and it has to be a clean, white one. Everyone knows colored wife beaters (i.e. black) just hide stuff.

24. Growing up, I was always the "smart" kid with bad behavior. I used to get D's in PE cause I would spend the time talking to my friends while we were doing the boring stuff like stretching. In 7th grade, I had my own desk in the corner while everyone else sat at tables because I was a "distraction." In 8th grade, I went to juvenile hall and during my trial, the judge said "We usually don't have kids with your kind of track record in here." In high school, I got suspended for fighting and heard the same comment from the dean. In college, I was kicked out of the dorms for punching someone, and heard the same thing again. Actually, I still have a record there cause of those idiots from Columbine. Since it was a violent act, my record had to stay on file for 10 years or something just in case.

25. My goal when I talk to people is to entertain and make them laugh. I have a hard time being serious for long periods of time, and sometimes I get in trouble for it. The real reason I do this is because I am pretty protective of myself and will hardly open up to anyone about how I am really feeling. It is a rare moment to catch me with my guard down, so once you get me there, you better keep going. haha

Front double summersault...1 1/2 twist...pike position...

Its still early, but my mind is already revving from a conversation I am having with my roommate over email right now. Yeah, my daily routine involves holding conversations with various friends who are working via email. It keeps me entertained and it keeps them entertained. I guess its better than imaginary friends or talking to myself right? haha

Back on point, diving. Not the diving that you would do at the local swimming pool or off a waterfall if you are lucky enough to live in paradise. Diving into risk. Diving into challenges. Diving into ANYTHING. What kind of diver are you? I can think of 4 different types. Let me describe them for you in order from novice local pool kid trying to do front flips off the low dive to olympic-platform-14-year-old-from-china-gold-medalist. lol

1. You touch the water with not only your left foot, but your right foot as well. When taunted to jump in, you politely decline and might do the one leg at a time approach from the side of the pool, until the one friend who has a crush on you decides to push you in. Then, of course, you are all in and ready to have fun.

2. You touch the water with one foot. Think about it. Touch again with the opposite foot. Still thinking. Then all of a sudden, decide to jump in feet first, two fingers pinching your nose, straight and stiff like a needle.

3. You touch the water with one foot. Think for a second. Touch with the second. Then say f*ck it and jump in. Cannonball style. Huge smile on your face as your just splashed 1 and 2 on the face. haha

4. You don't touch the water. You look to see if there are any sharks. None seen. F*ck it. You're all in. Front swan dive straight into the water.

Which one are you?

I have to admit that I'm a number three on this list. I wish I could be a number 4, but I'm not that risky. I'll think about things, but can also be a little compulsive at times.

Anyway, this blog came about because all of us pretty much think differently and sometimes have a hard time seeing the other side of the equation. For example, a 3 might have a hard time understanding why a 1 is taking so long to make a decision and will get on their nerves.

Think about a time when you are trying to make plans to go out on a Friday night. There is always one person who is hesitant and will not go anywhere unless EVERYONE else goes. Yes. That person is a 1. The 4 is more like the person who sends the initial text message about wanting to get f'd up. 3 is the first person to respond to 4. 2 is the most easily influenced by the bunch. And 1 is the person who comes along by default.

the thin line between b*tch and gentleman...

OK. So not really a gentleman, but a nice guy. The "nice guy" who supposedly finishes last. The funny thing about that term is, when most girls grow up or finally realize they are ready to settle down, the term nice guy somehow morphs into gentleman or gay. Huh? Most of these nice guys growing up either, A. turn into the gentleman that most girls look for because they have finally gotten over the superficialness of money and looks and actually get to know someone for who they are; or B. they come out of the closet and confirm the assumptions that have been being made about them since they were the one guy playing with the group of girls in the corner of the playground instead of playing dodgeball, tetherball or 4-square with the rest of the guys. In any case, this blog is not a vent about gold diggers (I'll have my theory about that in a later blog), this is about the thin line between being nice and being a bitch. Let me re-enact a few familiar scenarios for the fellas.

Guy 1: "Yeah, I have to ___________ (fill in your choice activity here)"
Guy 2: "Quit being such a b*tch."

Guy 1: "I took my girl to ___________ (fill it in once again)"
Guy 2: "Quit being such a b*tch."

Guy 1: "Tomorrow, me and my girl are going to _____________ "
Guy 2: "Quit being such a b*tch."

Are we starting to see a pattern here? No matter what you do you for your significant other, you are seen as their b*tch. Where do you win? I wrote a blog about chivalry a few weeks back, but I can almost guarantee that if you video taped a date of a guy with perfect chivalry, there are a lot of guys (and girls too probably), that would call this guy a chump. Some girls might also make comments like this guy is a weak pushover. So wherelies the balance here? It seems almost as mythical as impenetratable wall that surrounds groups of girls at a club (think of the last time you and your friend attempted to break up the circle of girls on the dance floor...yep...fail...that wall).

Is it even possible to win in this situation? Think of the two sides. If you act like an asshole around your girl, youre likely to get dumped. If you give in to almost all her demands, youre a chump. If you show your girl that "you're the man," to impress your homies, we all know what goes on behind closed doors. Yeah, you're apologizing your ass off. But if you appear to succumb to her needs in front of your boys, you're that b*tch again. So now you're a b*tch behind closed doors apologizing to her, and you're a b*tch to your boys for following her demands. How can you possibly win at this game? Looks like we are forever balancing ourselves on that fine line between being a gentleman and being a b*tch.

everyone has a price...

Friends are expensive. Straight up. If time is money, and you have to spend time with your friends in order to keep them, then friends are pretty much the most expensive thing in the world. But if friends are so expensive, why do we treat them like our cheap belongings...aka we use and abuse them. Friends are like our expensive property. You have to care for them, you have to be there when they need repair (help), you have to give them attention, and most of all, you have to respect them. Sometimes I feel like we all get lost in all our own personal selfishness and often neglect our friends and take them for granted.

Where am I going with all of this? Who likes cheap sh*t? No one that I know. Most people who buy something of lesser quality are usually forced to do due to some circumstance, convenience, finances, or lack of selection. Now, are those qualities you look for when you are trying to find friends? Are you someone's friend because of the conveniences they can provide for you? Are you someone's friend because they are rich? Are you someone's friend because there are no other people who want to be your friend? Didn't think so.

Everyone appreciates quality. People will pay extra for quality. People will go the extra mile to get something of greater quality. Think of the last time you drove about 30 min further than you had to because you wanted something so bad and it was not available nearby. That's what I am talking about when it comes to frienship. You have to earn your friends. You have to be worth that extra 30 min. Friends are not something you deserve, friends are something you earn. Just like saving up a few months for that expensive new tv, you need to do the same thing when building that friendship. Put in time. Don't expect sh*t to just happen on its own. Don't expect anything from them if you are not willing to make them expect anything from you. A one-sided friendship is going to get old quicker than the good times lasted. Eventually, one person is just going to get fed up and the b*tch/a*shole will be out sooner than expected, and out of nowhere.

Don't keep people around just because they can do something for you. Don't keep them around because they are nice and good people, but you cannot be the same to them. If you cannot go the extra mile for your friend, then you do not deserve to be a part of that person's life and they do not deserve to waste their time on you. Let them put their time and efforts into someone who reciprocates their behavior back to them.

the sun will come out...tomorrow...

Haha. The title of this blog was inspired with the recent national disaster that has visited southern california. Most of you might know this phenomenon as "rain." LoL I don't know what it is about rain that causes southern california to empty the streets, have numerous accidents and emergencies, and pretty much shut the f*ck down. If I were God, I would make it rain in southern california more often for my own personal entertainment of watching people scramble around as if Godzilla were attacking. haha Just take a quick visual of God eating popcorn and looking down at southern california cracking up, like he was watching The Hangover or something. haha

OK. Back to the topic. This blog was inspired by a quote I read from a transformation story in Shape magazine (Yes, I read Shape, and I'll pretty much read anything while I am in the "office"...lol). The quote went something like this, "Don't do something today, that you cannot do tomorrow." I thought that was pretty powerful, as far as making decisions with your regular life. I mean, we should all take risks and stuff, but as far as our daily habits, that quote makes perfect sense. Life is about balance. Less isn't always more or better. These are the statements that prompted me to really write this blog.

While the lady in the magazine was referring to her diet, as in, if you aren't going to eat carbs all day, but then binge all day tomorrow, what is the point? Or if you are going to do 3 hours of cardio today, and be so tired that you cannot do it all again tomorrow, what is the point? Granted, there are psychos out there (myself included), who have dieted to the extremes for a contest, but we are maybe like 1% of the population. The rest of the world should have that quote embedded in their heads when they decide to make crazy decisions about their nutrition and exercise. P90x. I always get the question, "does it work?" That quote applies perfectly to that program. The people who are successful in P90x, will have somehow changed their entire lifestyle and will be doing so for the rest of their lives. The people who view P90x as a 3 month program are destined for failure. Whether it is 3 months or 3 years after, if you go back to your old habits and gain the weight back, did you really succeed? Sorry, not in my eyes. That is the premise behind the company that my friend and I started (FluxFit). If you are really serious about changing your lifestyle to a healthier and more fulfilling one, get at us FluxFit@gmail.com. Enough advertising, back to the blog.

Balance. Life is full of extremes. Bigger is better. Less is more. Blah blah blah. We all have these tendencies and anyone who denies it is full of it. Think about the old school balance. You can never have both sides balanced on the first try. You always give a little, take a little, until it is just about perfect. Well, why don't we treat life that way? Some people believe it is all or nothing. I am a firm believer in being able to multi-task and finding a way to enjoy all your hobbies. I don't believe there is such a thing as completely sacrificing everything for a cause. Yes, I believe in sacrifice and dedication, but life should not shut down just because you need to focus. Get your mind right. It is possible. All work and no play has never been good. Shit, even God rested on the 7th day right?

All I am trying to say in this blog is...while you are working hard, sacrificing, punishing yourself, etc. Remember that we would rather take 2 steps forward and 1 step back...NOT 1 step forward and 2 steps back. Tomorrow is a new day, you don't need to do EVERYTHING, but you do need to do SOMETHING.

Chivalry is DEAD!...

Is it? Or does it still actually exist? I think that if I had to describe it correctly, the 90s stabbed it, but the first decade of the 2000s definitely took that knife and wiggled it around a bit to make sure it was dead. Why do I believe this? Think about every muscial song that has been a hit. When was the last time you heard some solid R&B that was all about praising a woman. Why are all the best slow jams back from when I was in freakin junior high? Sh*t like shai, jodeci, surface, nu flavor, boyz II men, do I even need to continue here? I could mention the real old school shit like Marvin Gaye and Al Green and the Temptations, but honestly, thats not my generation. I can't honestly speak on them with full confidence. Currently, I am listening to Robin Thicke's album as I type this, and he is one of the few R&B artists who still has that old school R&B type of style that music is desperately missing nowadays.

OK, so maybe music isn't something that everyone can relate to. What about advice? I would guess that 90% of the time I ask a girl for advice about a homegirl or about approaching girls, I get the "be an asshole" response. What the f*ck is that sh*t about? Treat her like sh*t and I get the panties? I don't really get the logic. Yes, I understand that I should have confidence, I shouldn't give off the vibe that I am desperate, meaning I should act like I am not super sprung the second I meet her. But do those things honestly translate to being a complete dick to her? Sh*t, I just don't really get it. I mean, I think I have developed my own style of flirting, but the whole be an asshole thing just doesn't work for me. Besides, I read a quote the other day that pretty much sums up how I feel about the whole asshole thing, "Ladies, the type of bait you use determines the type of fish you attract." The type of girls who go for the whole asshole thing aren't the type of quality that I go for, so why even play that card.

Speaking of the ladies, I have to place some of the blame on y'all as well. Why? Some of you couldn't recognize old school chivalry if it slapped you on the face. Let me think of a few of the obvious ones...being nice to your friends and family, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, opening doors and car doors, helping carry your bags...any of those things sound familiar? Some of you get so caught up in the whole independent woman thing, that you forget that there are still a few things that you should appreciate when a guy does them for you. Its modern times, chivalry is dead, but when a guy still goes out of his way to do these things, rather than call him a chump, just say thank you and keep it moving.

So, I don't know if the days of chivalry are dead. I don't know if the days of being the nice guy are over. I have definitely found my own style of making/doing what I think is right. But just so most of you know, there are actually some people out there who know how to treat a woman right. And no, that does not include making them feel like sh*t, so that you can play the charm card later on and get some ass. Yes, I know how this shit works, but it doesn't mean I have to use it. You reap what you sow. If I want a shallow and surface level chick, then maybe I'll take some lessons on how to act like a re-tard at the club. I think I'll take that extra 5 min to have a real conversation, and get something better than the girl trying to floss like she's on some manolo blahnik shit, when we all know she's a steve madden chick. Know what I mean? haha

Oh...Really...Yeah...

Went out for my boy Jon's birthday out at the Burgundy Room in LA last night, and in the midst of playing wingman for one of my girl friends, we start talking about what our "types" are. Girls seem to know what they want and what they are looking for, but their main problem is that they are a little dilusional on what they think they are getting and what they want. Huh? Let me explain that one. As soon as my friend told me what she likes, her friend comes busting in laughing and saying what she REALLY goes for. Hilarious. Naturally the shift in focus turns towards me.

"What do you like?"

"Umm....hot, nice body, pretty face!" <>

"For real, what do you like?"

"Someone who can change my view on things, and someone who's vocabulary while I am talking to her is 'oh,' 'really,' and 'yeah.'" <>

While those three words could easily describe your prototypical airhead, its not necesarily what I was trying to get at. There are some girls out there that are B-O-R-I-N-G as f*ck. Usually these chicks either give the impression that, A. they are stupid as hell, or B. they are stuck up as hell.

I think its hilarious when decent looking girls have such a hard time finding a guy. Yes, my shallow ass had to throw "decent looking" in there cause as much as everyone hates to admit it. There HAS to be physical attraction first. Anyway, girls have it easy. If you want a guy, regardless if its a hook up or some match.com long term sh*t, all you have to do is open your mouth and sound interesting. Crack a joke, talk about yourself, make fun of me, do something. Don't just utter the three most ridiculous conversation breakers known to man, "oh," "yeah," and "really." Cause really, you are just prepping yourself to be the cock block for your other friends that are having fun that night. "I'm not having fun." Yes, you are not having fun because you are not fun. haha Simple as that.

While I am on the clubbing topic of cock blocking. I don't know how many of you have caught that show Jersey Shore on MTV. Anyway, there is this annoying, chubby Christina Aguilera look-a-like on there named Snookie. Being the butt of the jokes on the show, she has now made her way into the JPonics book of vocabulary. You know the one ugly chick in the crew, usually a little more overweight than the rest of her friends, plays the role of security guard in the impenetratable circle of dancing girlfriends, and worst of all, cock block to the other friends because she has so much attitude that its virtually impossible for your friend to play wingman. Well, for the time being, those girls are now called SNOOKIES. How to use in a sentence, "I met this really cool girl over there, but the damn snookie kept saying she had to go to the bathroom." haha Word #2, SNOOKED, formerly known as a bitchalism from the stand-up of Jamie Foxx. If you got snooked, you just got cheap shotted, by some random ass person in the club.

More coming from me later. I have lots I want to blog about, including an alternative, much nicer version of the topics blogged about here.

2010...change?

According to Obama, 2009 was supposed to be the year of change. For most Americans, the change that came was for the worse. Me personally? I thought my life was changing for the worse, but after some careful thought, 2009 was more of a year of discovery and education. 2009 measured my toughness and gave me a blunt reality check on life. My generation was spoiled by the huge growth of the economy post college. Jobs were easy to find and salaries were higher than ever. Now, during the "Great Depression Part II," some of us are feeling what rock bottom is. From being at the highest peak to the lowest point in the valley. Some people were able to find the positive, as in "fun-employment." Others, myself included, did not see this as fun, but more of opportunity to follow dreams.

But as my dreams developed, reality began to set in. The lifestyle I had been accustomed to as an engineer was slowly catching up to me. No longer was I able to be as reckless with my money as I was before. And by reckless, I do not mean throwing it away. I am talking about random purchases at the store, eating out at my favorite restaurants every weekend, seeing something new at the grocery store and wanting to try it out, or something as simple as paying for a friend's meal. It made me an absolute wreck. At one point, I think my blood pressure was probably severly elevated from stress, although I never bothered to get it checked. Where did this all lead me? Back to square one! Fuck!

I am currently searching for an engineering job, which is something I used to swear I would never do again. But after seeing the state of the economy that was supposed to be fixed this year, I decided to take a different route to following my dreams. Instead of jumping head first, I am going to jump feet first, cannonball style. I am viewing these engineering jobs as a means to help me jumpstart the businesses I would eventually like to start. After all, you do need capital to start any business, and that is all I am lacking. I do not want to take out a massive loan, and I am not un-educated, so I might as well take advantage of it. Engineering pays well, and with the pretty structured work schedule, it will not be too bad trying to pursue my goals with my free time. I know what I want, and this strategy seems to be the best way for me to pursue it.

Anyway, back on topic. if 2009 was supposed to be the year of change, and instead became the year of discovery for me. I am officially declaring 2010 the year of action. 2010 is the year where you take your ideas and make them happen. Make some moves in the right direction. I know that is what I am aiming for. Screw change. Anyone can change. Taking action and moving, while everyone else is sitting, is making real progress. That is the change that should be happening. A change that helps you fulfill your destiny.