the thin line between b*tch and gentleman...

OK. So not really a gentleman, but a nice guy. The "nice guy" who supposedly finishes last. The funny thing about that term is, when most girls grow up or finally realize they are ready to settle down, the term nice guy somehow morphs into gentleman or gay. Huh? Most of these nice guys growing up either, A. turn into the gentleman that most girls look for because they have finally gotten over the superficialness of money and looks and actually get to know someone for who they are; or B. they come out of the closet and confirm the assumptions that have been being made about them since they were the one guy playing with the group of girls in the corner of the playground instead of playing dodgeball, tetherball or 4-square with the rest of the guys. In any case, this blog is not a vent about gold diggers (I'll have my theory about that in a later blog), this is about the thin line between being nice and being a bitch. Let me re-enact a few familiar scenarios for the fellas.

Guy 1: "Yeah, I have to ___________ (fill in your choice activity here)"
Guy 2: "Quit being such a b*tch."

Guy 1: "I took my girl to ___________ (fill it in once again)"
Guy 2: "Quit being such a b*tch."

Guy 1: "Tomorrow, me and my girl are going to _____________ "
Guy 2: "Quit being such a b*tch."

Are we starting to see a pattern here? No matter what you do you for your significant other, you are seen as their b*tch. Where do you win? I wrote a blog about chivalry a few weeks back, but I can almost guarantee that if you video taped a date of a guy with perfect chivalry, there are a lot of guys (and girls too probably), that would call this guy a chump. Some girls might also make comments like this guy is a weak pushover. So wherelies the balance here? It seems almost as mythical as impenetratable wall that surrounds groups of girls at a club (think of the last time you and your friend attempted to break up the circle of girls on the dance floor...yep...fail...that wall).

Is it even possible to win in this situation? Think of the two sides. If you act like an asshole around your girl, youre likely to get dumped. If you give in to almost all her demands, youre a chump. If you show your girl that "you're the man," to impress your homies, we all know what goes on behind closed doors. Yeah, you're apologizing your ass off. But if you appear to succumb to her needs in front of your boys, you're that b*tch again. So now you're a b*tch behind closed doors apologizing to her, and you're a b*tch to your boys for following her demands. How can you possibly win at this game? Looks like we are forever balancing ourselves on that fine line between being a gentleman and being a b*tch.

Chivalry is DEAD!...

Is it? Or does it still actually exist? I think that if I had to describe it correctly, the 90s stabbed it, but the first decade of the 2000s definitely took that knife and wiggled it around a bit to make sure it was dead. Why do I believe this? Think about every muscial song that has been a hit. When was the last time you heard some solid R&B that was all about praising a woman. Why are all the best slow jams back from when I was in freakin junior high? Sh*t like shai, jodeci, surface, nu flavor, boyz II men, do I even need to continue here? I could mention the real old school shit like Marvin Gaye and Al Green and the Temptations, but honestly, thats not my generation. I can't honestly speak on them with full confidence. Currently, I am listening to Robin Thicke's album as I type this, and he is one of the few R&B artists who still has that old school R&B type of style that music is desperately missing nowadays.

OK, so maybe music isn't something that everyone can relate to. What about advice? I would guess that 90% of the time I ask a girl for advice about a homegirl or about approaching girls, I get the "be an asshole" response. What the f*ck is that sh*t about? Treat her like sh*t and I get the panties? I don't really get the logic. Yes, I understand that I should have confidence, I shouldn't give off the vibe that I am desperate, meaning I should act like I am not super sprung the second I meet her. But do those things honestly translate to being a complete dick to her? Sh*t, I just don't really get it. I mean, I think I have developed my own style of flirting, but the whole be an asshole thing just doesn't work for me. Besides, I read a quote the other day that pretty much sums up how I feel about the whole asshole thing, "Ladies, the type of bait you use determines the type of fish you attract." The type of girls who go for the whole asshole thing aren't the type of quality that I go for, so why even play that card.

Speaking of the ladies, I have to place some of the blame on y'all as well. Why? Some of you couldn't recognize old school chivalry if it slapped you on the face. Let me think of a few of the obvious ones...being nice to your friends and family, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, opening doors and car doors, helping carry your bags...any of those things sound familiar? Some of you get so caught up in the whole independent woman thing, that you forget that there are still a few things that you should appreciate when a guy does them for you. Its modern times, chivalry is dead, but when a guy still goes out of his way to do these things, rather than call him a chump, just say thank you and keep it moving.

So, I don't know if the days of chivalry are dead. I don't know if the days of being the nice guy are over. I have definitely found my own style of making/doing what I think is right. But just so most of you know, there are actually some people out there who know how to treat a woman right. And no, that does not include making them feel like sh*t, so that you can play the charm card later on and get some ass. Yes, I know how this shit works, but it doesn't mean I have to use it. You reap what you sow. If I want a shallow and surface level chick, then maybe I'll take some lessons on how to act like a re-tard at the club. I think I'll take that extra 5 min to have a real conversation, and get something better than the girl trying to floss like she's on some manolo blahnik shit, when we all know she's a steve madden chick. Know what I mean? haha