change...

First blog of 2009. Fun stuff. Every year I set new year's resolutions just like everyone else does, and just like 99% of this world, I FAIL. The art of procrastination happens to be a specialty of mine and before I know it, it is time to set new resolutions. These resolutions seem to change themselves yearly and most things that are planned to be accomplished in the upcoming year go un-done. This year, I am saying f*ck the resolutions and instead, I would like to resolve some outstanding issues in my life. In other words, why try to make changes, when sh*t is not perfect right now. It's kind of like constructing a new building when the land has yet to be cleared. Does that make sense to anyone but me?





My Career


I do NOT hate engineering. I do NOT hate my job. But what I do hate, is the lack of my own interest in what I do. Maybe the old engineer who spoke to me in my first year of engineering knew what he was talking about when he told me every week, "you are too good for this." At the time, I laughed it off as crazy, old man talk. But what he said is now starting to come full circle. He would always say, "you are going to get bored of this, and will want to be challenged." As a first year engineer, my mentality was that I had a long way to go and was still struggling with what was being thrown at me. However, in the last few months of my job, I can honestly say I am bored out of my mind. Everything I learn or I am told does not sit in my head. It is very hard to be successful in something I have no passion in. I always want to exercise every oppurtunity before I give up on something, and sometimes I feel like I am 95% there. The corporate world and the bullsh*t politics are starting to take their toll on me and I am ready to tell it to f*ck off.

My Future

MBA or no MBA? That has been stressing me out ridiculously for the past 2 months. I took the GMAT and scored a decent score. Nothing spectacular, but nothing horrible either. Here's what is killing me. The average cost for the MBA is somewhere between $50-100k, which is a lot of money for something you do not know what you will do with. At first, I saw the MBA as my way out of the boring cubicle life, and into something more exciting, but after further research, I was wrong. I do not really know much about my future, but I do know that the cubicle is not for me. I do not mind paperwork and sitting at a desk, as long as it is not for more than an hour or 2 at a time. My goal for 2009 is to find what I love, what I am good at, and find success with it.

The lovelife

2008 marked something siginificant in my mental health. I found out what it meant to be comfortable with yourself and I found out what self-confidence was. So finally, I was able to be patient and content with being single. As always, you find what you are looking for when you are not looking. Now what if this thing you are looking for or have found has some crazy impenetratable border of security around it and just when you think you have found a kink in the armour, the crazy guard dogs attack and you are back where you first started.

Welcome to 2009.