Chivalry is DEAD!...

Is it? Or does it still actually exist? I think that if I had to describe it correctly, the 90s stabbed it, but the first decade of the 2000s definitely took that knife and wiggled it around a bit to make sure it was dead. Why do I believe this? Think about every muscial song that has been a hit. When was the last time you heard some solid R&B that was all about praising a woman. Why are all the best slow jams back from when I was in freakin junior high? Sh*t like shai, jodeci, surface, nu flavor, boyz II men, do I even need to continue here? I could mention the real old school shit like Marvin Gaye and Al Green and the Temptations, but honestly, thats not my generation. I can't honestly speak on them with full confidence. Currently, I am listening to Robin Thicke's album as I type this, and he is one of the few R&B artists who still has that old school R&B type of style that music is desperately missing nowadays.

OK, so maybe music isn't something that everyone can relate to. What about advice? I would guess that 90% of the time I ask a girl for advice about a homegirl or about approaching girls, I get the "be an asshole" response. What the f*ck is that sh*t about? Treat her like sh*t and I get the panties? I don't really get the logic. Yes, I understand that I should have confidence, I shouldn't give off the vibe that I am desperate, meaning I should act like I am not super sprung the second I meet her. But do those things honestly translate to being a complete dick to her? Sh*t, I just don't really get it. I mean, I think I have developed my own style of flirting, but the whole be an asshole thing just doesn't work for me. Besides, I read a quote the other day that pretty much sums up how I feel about the whole asshole thing, "Ladies, the type of bait you use determines the type of fish you attract." The type of girls who go for the whole asshole thing aren't the type of quality that I go for, so why even play that card.

Speaking of the ladies, I have to place some of the blame on y'all as well. Why? Some of you couldn't recognize old school chivalry if it slapped you on the face. Let me think of a few of the obvious ones...being nice to your friends and family, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, opening doors and car doors, helping carry your bags...any of those things sound familiar? Some of you get so caught up in the whole independent woman thing, that you forget that there are still a few things that you should appreciate when a guy does them for you. Its modern times, chivalry is dead, but when a guy still goes out of his way to do these things, rather than call him a chump, just say thank you and keep it moving.

So, I don't know if the days of chivalry are dead. I don't know if the days of being the nice guy are over. I have definitely found my own style of making/doing what I think is right. But just so most of you know, there are actually some people out there who know how to treat a woman right. And no, that does not include making them feel like sh*t, so that you can play the charm card later on and get some ass. Yes, I know how this shit works, but it doesn't mean I have to use it. You reap what you sow. If I want a shallow and surface level chick, then maybe I'll take some lessons on how to act like a re-tard at the club. I think I'll take that extra 5 min to have a real conversation, and get something better than the girl trying to floss like she's on some manolo blahnik shit, when we all know she's a steve madden chick. Know what I mean? haha

Oh...Really...Yeah...

Went out for my boy Jon's birthday out at the Burgundy Room in LA last night, and in the midst of playing wingman for one of my girl friends, we start talking about what our "types" are. Girls seem to know what they want and what they are looking for, but their main problem is that they are a little dilusional on what they think they are getting and what they want. Huh? Let me explain that one. As soon as my friend told me what she likes, her friend comes busting in laughing and saying what she REALLY goes for. Hilarious. Naturally the shift in focus turns towards me.

"What do you like?"

"Umm....hot, nice body, pretty face!" <>

"For real, what do you like?"

"Someone who can change my view on things, and someone who's vocabulary while I am talking to her is 'oh,' 'really,' and 'yeah.'" <>

While those three words could easily describe your prototypical airhead, its not necesarily what I was trying to get at. There are some girls out there that are B-O-R-I-N-G as f*ck. Usually these chicks either give the impression that, A. they are stupid as hell, or B. they are stuck up as hell.

I think its hilarious when decent looking girls have such a hard time finding a guy. Yes, my shallow ass had to throw "decent looking" in there cause as much as everyone hates to admit it. There HAS to be physical attraction first. Anyway, girls have it easy. If you want a guy, regardless if its a hook up or some match.com long term sh*t, all you have to do is open your mouth and sound interesting. Crack a joke, talk about yourself, make fun of me, do something. Don't just utter the three most ridiculous conversation breakers known to man, "oh," "yeah," and "really." Cause really, you are just prepping yourself to be the cock block for your other friends that are having fun that night. "I'm not having fun." Yes, you are not having fun because you are not fun. haha Simple as that.

While I am on the clubbing topic of cock blocking. I don't know how many of you have caught that show Jersey Shore on MTV. Anyway, there is this annoying, chubby Christina Aguilera look-a-like on there named Snookie. Being the butt of the jokes on the show, she has now made her way into the JPonics book of vocabulary. You know the one ugly chick in the crew, usually a little more overweight than the rest of her friends, plays the role of security guard in the impenetratable circle of dancing girlfriends, and worst of all, cock block to the other friends because she has so much attitude that its virtually impossible for your friend to play wingman. Well, for the time being, those girls are now called SNOOKIES. How to use in a sentence, "I met this really cool girl over there, but the damn snookie kept saying she had to go to the bathroom." haha Word #2, SNOOKED, formerly known as a bitchalism from the stand-up of Jamie Foxx. If you got snooked, you just got cheap shotted, by some random ass person in the club.

More coming from me later. I have lots I want to blog about, including an alternative, much nicer version of the topics blogged about here.

2010...change?

According to Obama, 2009 was supposed to be the year of change. For most Americans, the change that came was for the worse. Me personally? I thought my life was changing for the worse, but after some careful thought, 2009 was more of a year of discovery and education. 2009 measured my toughness and gave me a blunt reality check on life. My generation was spoiled by the huge growth of the economy post college. Jobs were easy to find and salaries were higher than ever. Now, during the "Great Depression Part II," some of us are feeling what rock bottom is. From being at the highest peak to the lowest point in the valley. Some people were able to find the positive, as in "fun-employment." Others, myself included, did not see this as fun, but more of opportunity to follow dreams.

But as my dreams developed, reality began to set in. The lifestyle I had been accustomed to as an engineer was slowly catching up to me. No longer was I able to be as reckless with my money as I was before. And by reckless, I do not mean throwing it away. I am talking about random purchases at the store, eating out at my favorite restaurants every weekend, seeing something new at the grocery store and wanting to try it out, or something as simple as paying for a friend's meal. It made me an absolute wreck. At one point, I think my blood pressure was probably severly elevated from stress, although I never bothered to get it checked. Where did this all lead me? Back to square one! Fuck!

I am currently searching for an engineering job, which is something I used to swear I would never do again. But after seeing the state of the economy that was supposed to be fixed this year, I decided to take a different route to following my dreams. Instead of jumping head first, I am going to jump feet first, cannonball style. I am viewing these engineering jobs as a means to help me jumpstart the businesses I would eventually like to start. After all, you do need capital to start any business, and that is all I am lacking. I do not want to take out a massive loan, and I am not un-educated, so I might as well take advantage of it. Engineering pays well, and with the pretty structured work schedule, it will not be too bad trying to pursue my goals with my free time. I know what I want, and this strategy seems to be the best way for me to pursue it.

Anyway, back on topic. if 2009 was supposed to be the year of change, and instead became the year of discovery for me. I am officially declaring 2010 the year of action. 2010 is the year where you take your ideas and make them happen. Make some moves in the right direction. I know that is what I am aiming for. Screw change. Anyone can change. Taking action and moving, while everyone else is sitting, is making real progress. That is the change that should be happening. A change that helps you fulfill your destiny.

kick in the door...

As reality started to set in, the job search effort went up exponentially. But even though I probably have resumes out to about 40 or so jobs, I have yet to receive any really solid leads. It wasn't until a conversation with my friend caused me to realize that my problem has never been my skills, effort, or work ethic. My problem lies in getting my foot in the door. And the funny thing is, this trend is not just limited to my job search, but on many aspects of my life. Let me explain.

As far back as I can remember, I have always been pretty shy. However, once you are able to break my mold, or maybe get into my trust zone, I am a pretty loud, outspoken, and maybe even annoying person. haha I will speak my mind, give advice, and possibly not shut up until you tell me to. I will basically spill my guts and talk until every idea is out of my damn head. But, this is only after the ice has been broken and I get comfortable. Breaking the ice has always been a tough thing for me.

Speaking of breaking the ice, let's talk about girls. Girls have never really been my super strong point. And as far as "club game," I would have to pretty much admit that I suck. Club game is basically breaking the ice the entire night with random people, once again, my kryptonite. Get a few drinks in me, and this entire situation changes, but that's not the point of this blog, so I'll talk about that another time. Once again, I have no problems once I actually start talking to someone, but the whole conversation starter part. Death. Sh*t just does not work in my favor. I sometimes wish it did, but its pretty much just luck if it does happen.

Now back to the original topic. Once I get that interview, I am pretty confident that I can nail it and get that job. But getting the interview from my resume seems to be the tough part right now. Getting my foot in that damn door is the huge killer and playing this waiting game pretty mcuh kills me. I know that I can kill that interview, but I just need a chance.

The fucked up part is that I feel this way about a whole lot of shit. Not just the things I mentioned in this blog. I always feel like I am the underdog, and I have a ton to offer the world, but am not always given a fair shot. I guess that is where the determination to prove myself or prove everyone else wrong comes from. The reason that I am never satisfied with things or never pleased. The reason that I may have a chip on my shoulder and get defensive sometimes. But knowing that you are better than what appears on the outside or knowing that there is more than what people physically see, should give you that drive to showcase your talents and abilities.

Slightly off topic. I love my short hair and shaving my head. I am planning on getting a few tattoos. This probably sounds like it does not help my situation too much, but its me. Is it worth sacrificing who you are, just because some people are unwilling to learn who you are? Not in my book.

who are you?

Do you ever wonder why you met someone or why they are a part of your life? We may consider some of our friends/acquaintances/family, the best in the world. But, there are also some people that remain in your life somehow, even if they are probably no good for you. It may sound confusing, but think about it a little bit. Aren't there a few people who you regularly communicate with that really do you no good? Or people that are your friends, but are there mostly to take, take, and take, and never really give back? I'm not talking about physical things like gifts, but more like knowledge, wisdom, etc. The relationship is so one sided that its almost like you are more of a teacher, rather than the friend you are supposed to be.

As I get older and further from the social life of going to bars and clubs on a regular basis, I notice that my social network has significantly shrunk. I find myself hanging out with pretty much the same people all the time. The circle has definitely shrunk. The funny thing is, even though I meet less people now compared to when I was back in college, I am way more selective in who I keep around and who I choose to hang out with. Shouldn't it have been the other way around? Shouldn't I have been more selective when I had more people around me? No idea. But when times get a little tough, as I feel they are getting right now in my life, I am curious to see who is going to help me out of this rut and who will basically disappear.

its not too late...

Like I said yesterday, this year has definitely flew by, and I was feeling like I had accomplished nothing this entire year. Until tonight, when my friend Elisa, pointed something out to me. See, Elisa and I have been having these common thoughts throughout the year, basically going along with the theme of finding our true selves. If nothing, 2009 was definitely a year in which I was able to finally break out of my shell and somewhat act like myself.

I am definitely at the point where I am tired of trying to please my parents and society and just do what I want to do. I tried the whole engineering gig, which was a good job on paper, but something that I really did not enjoy. The hardest part about all of this is the standard of life that I gave myself while earning that engineering money. Now that I am unemployed and starting all over, the entire process is starting to get a little stressful for me. The fear of failure and ending up depending on others to help me live my life, is terrifying. It stresses me out and sometimes I get near that point where I am ready to cave in and go back to where I was miserable, for the sake of making my own income again.

2009 was a year of finding myself and I need to keep that optimistic point of view going into 2010.

32 days...

32 days til 2010. Is it just me, or did 2009 really just fly by? I feel like I have made a lot of new changes in my life and the way I am living life these days, but somehow still feel like it is a work in progress. I mean, are we ever going to be satisfied? Everyone always says those words, but how much truth is there within that statement? It seems like every time I feel like I am doing something right, something else comes along and I feel like I am doing everything wrong, and it is time to start from scratch all over again (I am sure some of you who read this saw my twitter/facebook post about this a few days back). Anyway, the most important thing going on in my life right now is my pending career change. I am making the move from the cubicle to something that is more personally fulfilling. The goal is to be a physical therapist, but who knows where I will end up once I finish all those science pre-requisites. All I know, is that my passion lies in the health industry.

But speaking on living life, why is it human nature for all of us to critique each other's lives? Why do we always feel the need to help other people with how they are living their life? Is it really our business? We all make choices based on what WE feel is in our best interest, but there is always some person out there who will tell you that you are wrong. But are your really wrong? How can something you feel good about be wrong? Being a stubborn mf'er myself, I will argue my choies til the death of me. It may sound stupid, but sometimes, I would rather learn the consequences myself, rather than hear about what COULD happen. That is what makes life interesting and fun. Its what causes emotions,feelings, and gives us excitement. If you want to irritate me and see my mood change instantly, try telling me what to do or how to live my life. The smoke will start flowing from my ears and nostrils. haha

Anyway, had a great weekend back in nor cal seeing all my friends and family. I definitely miss the company and comfort of nor cal, but know that I have unfinished business still down here in so cal. The drive back was a long, dark and cold one, but I had a lot of good music that I had forgotten about keeping me company. Had that Alicia Keys song on repeat for a few spins, and can't wait for that new album to come out.